"well, i read a lot"
"cool! what kind of stuff do you like to read?"
"oh, you know, mostly amateur erotica based on existing media franchises"
a harry potter au where potions is taught by gordon ramsay
#OH GOSH THAT WOULD BE SO GREAT #the seventh years would be terrified but #imagine first year neville longbottom #messing up a potion and FROZEN in fear #and professor ramsay comes over and says ‘no’'it's alright; you stirred just a little too slow' #'it's a normal mistake' #'we can fix it' #and theN TALKS ABOUT HERBOLOGY TO HELP HIM UNDERSTAND POTIONS AND JUST #GOSH
no but everything about hamlet gets so much better when you treat laertes and hamlet as having had a bad breakup before hamlet went to wittenberg
suddenly laertes warning ophelia to be careful isn’t about perpetuating a misogynistic double standard, it’s about him still being sulky because he’s been hurt (dumped) before by the same dude
and hamlet’s amusement at osric’s total infatuation with laertes is at least partly ‘are you sure you wanna go down that primrose path friend, have you seen what he’s like before 10am’
The Roman Empire did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards.